The fact is, I've been really effing busy these days! Some things have been changed up at work, and it's utter insanity and chaos. That's really all of the details I have, because I have no idea what is going on up in this place. Then I go home at night, and it's snuggle behbeh time, and then I'm exhausted and have to sleep. My apologies, dear readers.
On a totally unrelated note, I've been working out this entry in my head for a while, so let's see how it goes...
Being pregnant is like going through puberty all over again, but in warp speed. Everything gets bigger, hips, boobs, butt ... in my case, I also swelled like a pufferfish so my legs were approximately the same circumference as grand oak trees, and my feet got so swollen they looked like they had little flesh turtle shells on top of them. I got horrifying stretch marks on my stomach, and of course, I struggled with confidence. But at the same time, I didn't. I wore horizontal stripes to show off my ginormous belly. I wore dresses that went above my knee, even though they exposed my gross legs and feet to the whole world. I couldn't control what was happening to my body, it wasn't like I was gaining weight because I was hitting the Old Country Buffet every night. I was growing a baby, whatevs! Couldn't help it.
I really miss that "f- it" attitude. Now in this post-preggo body, I don't really know what to do with myself. I have weird spidery veins on my ankles from where my feet exploded, my tummy has loose, saggy skin hanging off of it that isn't going away ... I'm just not the same as I used to be! Now there's no baby in the tummers, so in my mind there's no excuse for looking so ... just ... weird. It's hard adjusting to everything, and it's hard to strut around with the sorta confidence I used to have. Thank god for Spanx, otherwise I'd be curled up in my closet weeping softly (probably reading Twilight ... wait, what? Did you hear something? Oh good, neither did I).
Now, I don't mean to come off as whiney and I hope I'm not. Being a mom is my favorite thing in the world, and no one could ever make me happier than Ruby. I think this is something that all mamas go through so, damnit, we should talk about it instead of getting wistful in the 5 minutes of alone time we get per day while we're peeing. I mean, come on, I've been getting nostalgic for the 90's lately. Of course this backfired when I realized that in my old age, I now find the majority of Soundgarden's songs incredibly annoying.
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you get to pee alone? Lucky.
ReplyDeleteI use the term "alone" loosely. I actually can't close the door to the bathroom when I pee because my cats tear up the carpet otherwise.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, while I was in the hospital having Ruby, one of my cats somehow managed to dig up the baseboard from underneath the carpet and fling it across the room.
Anyway, I'm mostly referring to the time when Ruby is asleep and I sit in the bathroom for 30 minutes and avoid talking and thinking.
Someday we will pee alone, Amii! Some fine day!