What's the deal with Whole Foods? More specifically, what's the deal with the people who frequent Whole Foods? I have never been surrounded by more rude, self-important people at one time in all my life! It's a grocery store. Get over yourself.
I only go to Whole Foods for one reason - CAKE. Their baked goods are absolutely divine, and way better than any other store-bought cakes I've tried. This also reduces my Whole Foods visiting quota to about once per year.
Tragically, through a long string of events, we lost a cake yesterday at work. It was thrown in the trashcan in a moment of spite-y passion, only three lonesome pieces had been eaten. Everyone talked about the cake solemnly and what could have been. "That cake looked good," we all said. "I was just waiting until lunch to have some ... but it's too late now."
I thought when I came in today that we would all be over the terrible loss, but it seemed that the wounds were still too fresh - "That was a marble cake, too. I'll bet it was delicious." As incredulous as I was, I decided to go out today to get a better, fancier cake to boost office morale. Off to Whole Foods I went.
I hadn't even stepped in the door before a little old lady zipped in front of me, nearly impaling me on her cart, to get through the door first. Are you afraid that I am going to get to the macrobiotic tofu before you? I am sure there is enough for everyone.
I picked my way through hippie moms, yuppies, and a guido of all things, dodging, spinning, nearly tripping over people as they whizzed past me to the Asian buffet. What is the rush? The food is not going anywhere. It is highly unlikely that the building is going to explode in the next two seconds, and even if it did, you would be dead so I doubt you'd really miss that organic beet salad with hormone free bleu cheese.
I finally made it to the bakery, got the cake, and then paused for a moment to peruse the drink case where I was nearly tackled by the guido. I decided it was high time to run away before I became One Of Them. Shockingly, I made it to the cash register without being mauled in any way.
Did you know that some of the food at Whole Foods isn't even organic? So what's the big deal? What about shopping at Whole Foods makes you the greatest person ever to exist ever? Also, have you noticed that going to Whole Foods also means navigating through some of the worst parking lots ever designed? What's the deal! What. Is. The. Deal.
... That being said, though, the cake was delicious.
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