But can you pour watery, blue liquid on it?

I made the decision to watch the finale of Lost last night (it really irritates me when people write the title as LOST, only truly awesome things should be written in all caps, like COOKIES and DINOSAURS) having only ever watched one episode - where the hobbit dies - and maybe reading a handful of recaps here and there.

Did you know that of Lost's two and a half hour time slot, 45 minutes of that time was commercials? I winced at the previews for the Gates - some bizarre Stepford Wives-esque vampire vehicle (we have reached the bottom of the vampire barrell, humanity), but what really caught my attention were the commercials for the iPad.

I think I saw the same commercial about 10 times, so not noticing it was sort of unavoidable. I hadn't really thought much about the iPad, past the obvious jokes - "HEY DOES IT COME WITH WINGS LOL," "WHAT WILL PEOPLE FROM BOSTON CALL THEIR IPODS LOLOLOL," but after the commercial was hammered into my brain a million times, I became totally dumbfounded.

We live in a gadgety society, sure, but it's causing us to carry around more crap than we possibly need. We have our phones, our iPods, our Kindles or Nooks, our laptops, our GPS ... things. This is not the sign of an intelligent society! Let's just take a look at Apple's more portable products:
-iPod: It plays music! You can download apps! You can use the internet and send email!
-iPhone: You can make phone calls! It plays music! You can download apps! You can use the internet and send email!
-iPad: You can make phone calls! It plays music! You can download apps! You can use the internet and send email! You can look like a big ol' idiot because portable phones weren't even that big in the 80's!

Apple is goddamned clever, I'm willing to admit it. They use the Mexican food principle - it's the same contents, just different wrapping. Yet so many must have the taco/burrito/enchilada combo. Why? I don't know. I'm still rocking my ancient iPod from 5 years ago - before they could even display graphics! Whoooa, what's my social security number, 17?

My question is the same question I had when it was revealed that Jack Shephard had a son, except not really - why? Why do we need all of this crap? Why would anyone haul around an iPad when you can have an iPhone which is smaller and does all of the same things? Does it work well as a food tray, or would I kill it if I spilled anything? Will it clean my litter boxes? It won't? Then I don't get it.



...Except for the Boston jokes. It served its purpose there.