Men are not from Mars, they come from caves

Life Situations:

A woman comes home from the grocery store. She puts the refrigerated items in the refrigerator, the frozen items in the freezer, the dry items in the cabinet, and the toilet paper in the closet.

A man comes home from the grocery store. He leaves the refrigerated items in the bag, tosses them in the refrigerator, uses the frozen items to play some kind of weird Jenga in the freezer, leaves the dry items out on the counter, and gingerly places the toilet paper just outside the closet door. He then watches Most Extreme Elimantion Challenge for the next 6 hours.

The fact of the matter is, most dudes' priorities fall somewhere outside of order, cleanliness, and general common sense.

This weekend our lovely town had its annual festival. Without fail, this festival is always held on a weekend that carries a threat of apocalypse-level storms. Most of the time, we manage to escape unscathed, but that didn't happen this year.

I was sitting under a tree with my mom, sister, and the hubs-to-be. Mom was holding Ruby when all of the sudden there was a huge gust of wind. Our chairs and the stroller blew over, and it started pouring rain. Mom handed Ruby to me, grabbed one of Ruby's blankets, held it over her head, and made a beeline for the nearest bar. Wayne set his beer down in the cupholder of Ruby's stroller. My sister helped me get Ruby into the stroller. She sprinted off towards the same bar Mom scampered into. I started pushing the stroller. Wayne's beer spilled a little bit. Wayne removed his beer from the cupholder, and was also holding mine. I struggled to push the stroller down a curb. Wayne was about 5 steps ahead of me, trying to figure out how to cover the beers with both hands occupied. I navigated through throngs of irrationally panicked people, and ran into Wayne outside of the bar. He had realized he couldn't bring the beers he worked so hard to rescue inside. I went in while Wayne stood in the pouring rain, chugging both beers.

When we got to upstairs, my dad was sitting at the bar staring at the Live Doppler app on his iPhone. He was completely dry and enjoying a vodka soda.

"Oh," he said, "did it start raining?"