Listen, I appreciate your ability to exploit the fact that you give parents 5 minutes of alone time just as much as anyone else, but seriously, YOU WERE SINGING ABOUT FRUIT SALAD THIS MORNING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. WHY IS THERE A PIRATE. WHAT IS THIS:
Also, what the hell is a Wiggly Waffle? When I hear wiggly, I think of Jell-O, and a waffle made of Jell-O sounds both disappointing and impossible to achieve. You men have no dignity, I can see the void in your dead eyes as you sashay and sing about playing one's guitar with Murray (is that a euphemism? If so, that is INAPPROPRIATE. This is a show for children).
I won't lie, Wiggle Men, there is a sick, dark part of me that wants to attend one of your live shows. Not for the brain-killing music, no. I am convinced that you have groupies. Sad, lonely, stay-at-home moms who are driving their children to futures filled with extensive therapy, all so they can breathe the same air as The Hot Wiggle*. Can you tell me, Wiggle Men? Is there a secret, underground movement of mom groupies? Do worn, stretched-out nursing bras get thrown at you when gallivanting about stages from city to city? Let me in on this. I want to know.
But seriously, fruit salad? Stop that nonsense. I hate you.
(and envy you and your dirty Wiggle money)
With love and revulsion,
MNAM
*I don't actually know if there is such a thing.
i would dance around like an idiot and sing moronic songs for the kind of money they make.
ReplyDeleteI swear there is a version where they sing "ensalada fruita" - or at least I hope so. I might be REALLY sleep deprived if i translate to spanish in my head when I don't speak spanish. I have seen that show like 4 times, and I think that song has been in 3 of them.
ReplyDeleteYUMMY YUMMY
damn you to hell.
Ok cuz....my kiddo loves (or loved she has outgrown them, just in time for the other to grow into them!!!) the wiggles. The wiggles have allowed me to shower, talk on the phone, have cocktails, and enjoy a little me time. So don't hate. Also, I did take Zoe to a show. It was not that bad. Murray played My Sharona on the guitar.
ReplyDelete@Nicole they have the song in spanish. You are correct.